Crossroad Of Love – Chapter 12 (Final)

Five years have passed. Ken and Rainie did not contact each other at all for these 5 years. Ken changed his cell phone and lost Rainie’s number again. Rainie did not use MSN Messenger anymore and switched to another chat messenger.

Ken worked in his office in Zhu Corporation as CEO. He only goes to this office once a week, and the remaining days he will spend it in his own, other office of his own business, a psychology center. He finally graduated his psychology course and is now running his favorite business. He helped out in his father’s company. He would take a little time out to check his mails and do some surfing. He would look at the email address of Rainie that he had always kept in the address book, before he proceeds with writing a new mail or checking one. He wanted to send her an email. However, he would normally type a few words, and then discarded the mail without sending it.

Someone knocked the door. “Come in!” Ken said as he minimizes the mailbox.

“Hello…” Vanness called.

“Hey,” Ken smiled.

“Hi,” Vic said.

“So free?” Ken smiled at Vic. He wondered why they both come over to visit him since they had just visited him a couple of days ago at his center.

“Hi Ken,” Jerry called, coming in into his room.

“Hey, Jerry! You’re here!” Ken said. “No wonder you two come over today!” he looked at Vic and Vanness.

“Yes, I drop by to see my buddy,” Jerry smiled. “They come over because I’m back!” they all walked towards Ken.

“Hey, man. How’s life for you?” Ken asked Jerry.

“Great. I had a meeting in Taipei here so I need to fly back from USA,” Jerry said.

“Great to be based in USA?” Ken asked.

“Not really. My English was so bad… I…” Jerry embarrassed, “I am asking to transfer back to Taipei anyway. So, now it’s pending for confirmation by my mother,” he said. “Plus, Barbie can’t really cope with the winter season, she got sick frequently,” he smirked. “So, how’s life for you?” Jerry asked Ken.

“Just as usual,” Ken said.

“Look what I’ve found,” Vanness said, looking at Ken’s computer.

“What?” Ken said.

“Your mailbox. Wanted to send mail to Rainie, right? Finally!” Vanness said as he quickly pressed the maximize button.

“Hey, don’t touch my computer,” said Ken, fighting back for the mouse Vanness is holding.

“Just send her mail, Ken. You’ve wanted to do that for the past 5 years,” said Vic.

Ken smiled and lightly shook.

“But I think he’s writing one, the receiver is her email,” Jerry said looking at the screen.

“Hey,” Ken immediately pressed the button to shut off the screen. “I don’t send them,” Ken said. “I would always discard that,” he said and he looked at his best friends. All of them looked at him. Ken then covered his mouth. “Oops,”

“Means you would type the mail and then discard them off?!” Vic said.

“Yes!” Ken snarled.

“How many times have you been doing this?” Jerry asked.

“Not sure, but many,” Ken said.

“Almost everyday for the past few years?” Vanness asked.

Ken looked at him. “About that,”

“Gosh!” Vic, Vanness and Jerry exclaimed.

“Why don’t you just go ahead and send her the mail?” Vic asked.

“I don’t know how to write, ok?” Ken said.

“Then just call her,” Jerry said. “At least treat it like ‘dropping by to say hello’ or something,”

“I don’t have her number,” Ken said.

“You don’t?” Vanness asked.

“I’ve lost it, when I changed my cell phone,” Ken said.

“You told me you talk to her at MSN messenger?” Vic asked.

“She don’t log on to MSN anymore,” Ken replied.

“Then go to her house and find her!” Jerry said.

“Do you think he will?” Vanness looked at Jerry. “He dares not to send her mail, what more go to see her?”

“I know she don’t live there anymore,” Ken said.

“How can you be so sure?” asked Vic.

“She only rent that place last time,” Ken take a deep breath. “Maybe she is back to her hometown and work there instead of Taipei,”

“Of all you said, email address is the only thing you have to reach her?” Jerry asked.

“Do you want to tell me that even the email is not working too?” Vanness asked.

Ken looked at him. “Possible…”

“Ken!” Jerry, Vic and Vanness yelled.

“Look, I really don’t know how to start this. She didn’t reply my SMS and pick up my calls 5 years ago… and I totally lost contact with her since then. I didn’t know what happen, and I didn’t manage to get the answers from her colleagues that time,” Ken said. “Guys! You all came here not for this!” Ken snarled. “I will settle this on my own, ok?”

Jerry, Vic and Vanness looked at him and then at each other. They all know it is hard to persuade Ken, so they just nodded.

“Come, let’s go out for a drink,” Ken said as he stood up.

“Sure thing,” they all replied.

Ken, Vanness, Vic and Jerry went to a coffee house opposite Zhu Corporation building. They all had a 3-hours talk about their work and life. Jerry is happily married with the woman he loved all his life – Barbie. Vanness is happily in a relationship with Pace and Vic is still single, but is now pursuing Winnie after finding her for 2 years, which makes his status not-officially-single. All of them are the CEO of their own companies.

Life has never been better for any of them.

Ken smiled. He is happy too, that he has a company on his own, doing the business that he favoured and managing his father’s company. But the only thing he doesn’t have is a relationship.

“Anyway, I got to go now,” Vanness said, looking at his watch.

“We both carpool his car,” Vic said. “So, we need to go too since we both followed him,”

“Sure,” Ken said. “We’ll meet up again soon, ok?”

“Maybe we can meet up probably tonight or tomorrow night?” Jerry asked.

“I can’t. But I’ll contact you guys,” Vic said. “I’ll try arranging my time,”

They all stood up and Jerry paid the bill.

“We’ll decide then,” Vanness said. “Bye Ken,”

“See you, guys,” Ken said.

Vic and Jerry waved.

Ken smiled as he waved at them and they all parted ways. He smiled as he walked at the five-foot-way heading to his office, looking down on his steps. He then looked up, and smiled when a few ladies passed by him and smiled at him. He put his hands into his pants’ pocket and walked, enjoying each and every step he take, until he saw a familiar face walking towards him. She is neatly dressed in formal attire: a long sleeve white shirt with a coat over it and a short dress and in 3-inch high heels, with a notebook bag hang over her shoulder. She had a purplish-red big curls hairstyle which suited her. She is not looking at him, but paying her attention at her cell phone.

“She looked familiar…” Ken mumbled.

She stuffed her cell phone into her handbag and looked up, looking at him. She abruptly stopped her steps.

Ken stopped walking at about the same moment she stopped walking. He finally recognizes her, despite there are a few changes in her appearances. She looked professional, and a lot prettier than what her image is in his heart.

“Rainie…” Ken said.

She smiled at him. “Hi, Ken,”

The moment has come. With all the effort he tried to email her and discarded the email in the end, he lost her number and didn’t manage to contact her in MSN Messenger, and right now here she is, standing in front of him. He looked at her, not knowing what to say. Ken, who had always been known to socialize and talk a lot, suddenly went speechless. Rainie started her steps and walked, slowly walked past him.

“Rainie!” Ken called as he held her arm. Rainie stood still, and then looked at him. “I…” he stammered. He knows if he didn’t say anything, she will walk off just like that. “Free for a drink?” he looked at Rainie.

“Sure,” Rainie said, after taking a deep breath.

Ken and Rainie walked in into the same coffee house that Ken, Vanness, Vic and Jerry had their chat earlier.

There were minutes of silence among them as Ken looked at Rainie, and Rainie would occasionally looked at him before drinking her tea.

“How’s life?” Ken asked. “How’s your job?”

“Great,” Rainie said. “I’m now a senior manager in Ready Corp,”

“Ready Corp? You are not with AHW2 MDW already?” Ken asked.

Rainie shook. “No more,”

“Life’s not good in AHW2?” Ken asked.

“I got a better offer at other company,” Rainie said. “What about you?”

“I’m now a CEO of Zhu Corporation, and I have my own psychology center now,” Ken smiled. He immediately took out his business card and handed it to Rainie.

“Congratulations,” Rainie said as she graciously accepted the card and looked at it. “Graduated your course?”

“Yes, I’m now holding Masters in Psychology,”

“I’m a Masters holder too,” Rainie smiled.

“Really? Which course?”

“Business with IT,”

Ken smiled. “I wonder how’s the rest of the MDW team that we knew,”

“Daniel is now a manager in AHW2 MDW. He told me he’s pressured working there at the moment. The rests… they are all fine. You can find out from them yourself,” Rainie smiled. “How is Joanne?”

“She’s fine,” Ken said. “I didn’t contact your ex-colleagues actually,”

“Well, ok,” Rainie smiled as she takes a sip of her tea.

It’s a moment of silence among them again.

“She has never been this silent… I wonder…” Ken thought to himself.

“You got nothing else to ask me after all the years we didn’t contact each other?” Rainie thought to herself.

“So… I can’t believe we didn’t contact each other for a few years already,” Ken said.

“Yeah, time flew fast,” Rainie said.

“You… didn’t online in MSN anymore,”

“I’m using other messengers now,” Rainie said.

“Did you change your email?” Ken asked.

“I’m still using a couple of them,” Rainie said.

“I’m sorry I lost your number so…”

“It doesn’t matter. Not that you will call,” Rainie said.

Ken stared at Rainie, surprising with the way Rainie talked.

“If you want to contact me, you will look for ways to contact me no matter what. Email me or ask for my number from my ex-colleagues. I know you will,” Rainie said. “Even if you don’t contact them, for sure you will find my number out from all available sources you could possibly landed your hand on,”

Ken silent. Rainie was right. If he wanted to contact her, he will certainly ask around.

“I wanted to be in a relationship with you 5 years ago but I didn’t because of commitment. And because I need to work and study at the same time,” Ken said. “I am afraid you will be unhappy with me,”

“Why are you telling all of this again to me now, Ken?”

“I wanted you to know… wanted you to know that it is the same reason,”

“It’s 5 years, Ken,” Rainie said. “Explaining it now again doesn’t change history,”

“Rainie, I… are you angry of me?”

“Why should I?” Rainie looked at Ken.

“Because we… didn’t go with the flow?”

“I hate to talk about this again, Ken. I don’t want to remember it,” Rainie took a deep breath. “At some point I am angry with you, upset with you and all kinds of feelings towards you. I have never imagined it will leave a deep impression in my life. Never,”

“I’m sorry, Rainie,”

“I have been in a few relationships, but yes, I hate you, Ken. I hate you for doing this to me,” Rainie said. “I was expecting something better than this, Ken,”

Ken looked at her. He never knew she was this hurt. Ken could not say anything.

“I put too much hope on you, Ken. I was hoping you could commit. I was hoping things will be better. I told you that I can bear with you studying and working at the same time and I told you I am willing to stand by you should anything happen,”

“Rainie, I…”

“I cannot wait for you to commit. I cannot initiate moves each time to talk to you or to go along with you. It’s not worth for me to wait for something that seems will not work for me,”

“I’m so sorry…”

“I have always wish things will go well with you. I give you chances, but you didn’t want to take it. Until the end… I knew it won’t work. I knew I can’t go on like this anymore. I knew I must let you go, no matter how hurt I was,” Rainie looked at him, as tears started to form in her eyes. “I shut myself off from you when I know your signals, 2 weeks after Tammy’s wedding,”

“Signals?”

“You didn’t call me anymore. No messages. No chats. No mails. I have understood your message well. And I don’t need to say anymore… plus, all the while, you kept giving me mixed signals that I barely knew what you think and what you actually want. You have never really considered my feelings and thoughts. You would only consider everything on your own and made decisions yourself without ever thinking about me first. You do not consider my feelings at all, Ken… you do not, at all!” Rainie said. “Now, tell me, how can I be able to treat you as a friend like nothing had happened between us when all of these happened that leave a deep scar in my heart, and in my life!”

“I’m sorry, Rainie. Please forgive me, I wished we could still be friends,”

“I wondered too, if I can still accept you as friend. I told myself I could, but with what you have done, I didn’t know if you deserve to still be my friend, being a part of my life,”

“Rainie…”

“I had enough of this, Ken. I gave you chances, I initiates, I try to make you understand. And all you did was just cutting it off. I don’t know why you are doing that. We are more than friends because we kissed passionately, but we are not couples!”

Ken kept silent.

“I hate you, Ken. I do not have feelings for you in the first place. It was what you did that makes me likes you. And after I have feelings towards you, you just shrugged it off. What more can I do? What more can I ask? Thank you? For making me like this?”

“I didn’t mean it this way, Rainie. I like you too. My life was miserable when you are not around me,” Ken said.

“No use, Ken. You like me, so what? You dare not commit,”

“I am afraid…”

“Afraid that I am not happy? Afraid that you may not have time for me? Enough of reasons, I don’t wish to know or hear it anymore,”

“I really do, I am…”

“Your commitment towards church is more than what you can give me. Fine, go ahead with your commitment towards church. I didn’t ask you to give it up or give up something for me because it is your passion. I only want a little attention from you, a little time from you, a little effort from you. But you couldn’t. You would just say I may be unhappy, I may be this and that. I am so upset with you,”

“Rainie, I…”

“I tried letting you go and I suffered. I guess these 5 years is enough. This is the time for me to express everything to you today, and just be it,” Rainie said. “To be honest, I have never thought I will talk to you or see you again,”

“I wasn’t expecting to see you today…” Ken said.

“I think I have said everything I want to say,” Rainie said.

“But I haven’t,” Ken said. Rainie looked at him. “I still like you,”

“So?” Rainie asked.

“I wanted to be with you,” Ken said.

Rainie closed her eyes as the tears dripped. “If you were saying these 5 years ago, things won’t turn out like this,”

“I’m very sorry that I hurt you and make you miserable, Rainie. I really want to be with you. Let’s start all over, ok?” he held her hand that is on the table.

Rainie took his hand off. “Too late, Ken. Too late,”

“But why?” Ken asked.

“If you know this will happen, then you shouldn’t have done all these,” Rainie said.

“Give me a chance, Rainie,” Ken said.

“Give you a chance to hurt me again?” Rainie said, looking at Ken, straight in his eyes. “Give you a chance to make me miserable again?”

“I promise I won’t, please…” Ken said.

“I had enough. I remember the pain that I had because of you. I wished you have never expressed to me before that you liked me. I wished all this never happened, at least I can still be your friend,”

“Rainie…”

“Things will never be the same anymore, Ken. Things you said today won’t change what had happened 5 years ago,”

“Please, Rainie…” Ken said as he held her hand again.

Again, Rainie shrugged his hand off. “What do you feel now when I shrug your hand off? How pain is your heart? All that you have done and said is enough to put me to sleepless nights and countless times of cries. I just can’t let it happen again, and it will never happen again,”

“Rainie… I really…”

Rainie interrupted. “I’m engaged, Ken,” she didn’t want to say it out at first, but since Ken is pushing for it, she just say it out.

Ken stared at Rainie. He looked at her hand. Rainie had always loved to wear rings. He didn’t see any engagement ring on her hand.

“Sent for resizing,” Rainie said, knowing Ken is looking for her engagement ring.

Ken looked at Rainie again in disbelief. “You lied,”

“I’m with my fiancé for 3 years. And he just proposed me 3 weeks ago,” Rainie said, smiled lightly.

“But you still have feelings for me, right?” Ken asked.

“The only feelings I had for you is hatred. I couldn’t like someone who had hurt me this much anymore. And just as I’ve said, if you knew this would happen, you shouldn’t have done these. Perhaps… I am now happily attached to you, and engaged to you… but no. Things have happened as it is. I’ve moved on,” Rainie said.

“No… you lied… you didn’t have a fiancé… you…” Ken stammered. “If you have… you won’t be saying how painful you have been… and you won’t be shedding tears!”

“I will not deny that I tried hard to let you go and stop myself from having feelings for you. Yes… 5 years has passed, I am still hurt with your actions…” she said. “I love my fiancé, but if I recalled about what you had done to me, I could go teary eyed. Just say that I am disappointed with you,” she looked at him. “There is no point to lie to you,” she smiled lightly. “You have a psychological center. You have a wonderful Zhu Corporation’s future in your hands… you are smart and good-looking. You will get a perfect lady to be your wife,”

“The lady that I want is someone’s wife,” Ken said, looking at Rainie.

“I’m not the one for you nor you are the one for me. My fiancé is a great guy I could have ever imagined that I could have. He may not be as rich as you, but he is definitely a better person than you. He had never hurt me like how you did. And I love him, very much,” Rainie said. “And you are a psychologist. For sure of what I said, you know I am not lying about my fiancé,”

Rainie had never said she loved Ken. Ken were speechless. Rainie’s eyes glitters whenever she mentioned her fiancé. And Rainie was right. As Ken is a psychologist, according to the way she responded and her reactions, for sure she didn’t lie to him about her fiancé.

“I still remember Jennifer told me that you are happy whenever you mentioned about your date 5 years back… which is me…” Ken said. “I see the same happiness in you whenever you mentioned your fiancé now…”

“At least he didn’t betray my trust towards him, not like you,” Rainie said.

Ken looked at her. “Betray your trust?”

“I trust you, very much. But you betrayed me,”

“What? When?” Ken asked.

“Remember I told you about the work that you are doing and unsure of how to make it work, that someone is working it in AHW2 too? You told Terence and then Dr. Lee knew it, he told me,” she looked at him. “You told me things will only keep between you and me. I trusted you with all my heart, but all you do to me is betraying my trust on you,”

“I…” Ken recalled. “I am sorry…”

“Stop apologizing. I had enough. How can I not hate you? How can I not walk off? And how can I not get hurt…” Rainie said.

“I didn’t know that… I really didn’t know…”

“Now you know,” Rainie looked at him. “It doesn’t matter. It’s 5 years ago,” she said. “I know you have been hoping that I will give you my number when you mentioned it earlier. And I know you could have probably hoping I will give you my business card. I didn’t. Because I don’t see the necessity to do so,”

Ken really wanted to take her number earlier in the conversation, as a mean to exchange business card too. He just looked at her.

“I didn’t see the possibility for you and me to remain as friends. So, I didn’t see the need for you to contact me anymore. I think the meeting has to happen so that we can talk and decide the conclusion for you and me. I feel a lot better when I tell you all this. And this will be the last tear I shed for you, Ken,” she wiped her tears away. “I didn’t know why I walked here today. I don’t need to walk here… at all. My company is not anywhere near here, nor any of the places that I wanted to go near here. My feelings tell me to walk at this street today which I felt weird, but I did. And then I met you. That is why I said this meeting is arranged,” she smiled. “I should say this is probably our last meeting and talk,”

Ken started to drip. He felt she is drifting away. “We cannot be friends at all?” he asked.

“Seriously, I don’t know,” Rainie said. “Ken, I enjoyed the attention that you have given me. We have a lot of good, happy, wonderful and sweet memories. I have always loved the moment we are together, for dates, kisses, hugs and so on, but you leave me a lot of sad memories too. The pain you put me through is more than the enjoyment I had with you… and is more than I can bear,”

“I was wishing I can do something to make you feel better…”

Rainie shook and took a deep breath. “Thank you for your feelings towards me. I appreciate it very much,” she then looked out to the street. “I think it’s time for me to go,”

“Don’t you want to talk for a few more minutes?” Ken asked. He was hoping there is a way for him to save this friendship, at least. He also wanted to see the face that he had always miss.

“Sorry, I don’t see the need,” Rainie said as she took out a $100 note. “I’ll treat you…”

“It’s ok, my treat,” he immediately pushed her hand away. “I didn’t know if there is any chance for us to sit down and talk in the future… just let me pay for the drinks,” he said as he put the money down on the table.

Rainie smiled lightly. “Alright then, thanks,” she said as she stood up elegantly.

“You’re welcome,” Ken stood up too. Rainie took her notebook bag and hung it over her shoulder and walked out of the coffee house with Ken. “I won’t mind if you drop by my company and ask me out for a drink,” Ken said. “The address is in the business card,”

Rainie smiled. “Goodbye, Ken, take care,”

With the way Rainie responded, Ken knew Rainie will not ask him out for a drink or dropping by his company. Perhaps she wouldn’t even bother to take a look at his business card. It was a bitter goodbye. Ken had never felt that way before. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Rainie. He really wanted to hug her and kiss her, for the last time.

Rainie looked at him, waiting for his respond. She knows that it is very difficult for him to just let everything go right there at the moment. She had managed to pour her heart out, on her anger, disappointment and hatred towards him. Of all that she had bear for the last 5 years, she felt better that she had finally say it out to him, right in front of his face.

Ken then looked at her, pretended that he is ok, and said, “Goodbye, Rainie, you take care too… wish you happiness with your fiancé,”

“Thank you,” Rainie smiled.

“I will remember her smile…” he thought to himself.

Rainie then turned and walked, with tears slowly flow down her cheek. “Yes, I am going to marry someone else that I love, and I love you too, Ken… and I will only love you until today… and I shall leave all the pains you had given me right now at this place with all that I have said… for I didn’t want to bring this pain to tomorrow or the rest of my life…” Rainie walked straight, and not turning her head back to look at Ken for one last time.

“I didn’t know that I have let you down, Rainie… I only know that today, 5 years later… I didn’t know I have make you miserable and upset… and with that… that is why you walked away… and I didn’t know how you could bear with the heartbroken feelings for 5 years… Now I understand why you do that, why you cut the communication ties with me. I’m sorry, Rainie… I’m sorry… And right now… I have to bear with this heartbroken feeling for the rest of my life,” Ken looked at Rainie walking away, slowly, as she disappeared from his sight.


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