I Still… – Chapter 29

“I don’t want to see you in this room. GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!” Xiao You yelled at Xi Men and pointed at the door. “GET OUT!!!!!”

Xi Men’s eyes are stark opened at the tone she gave him and the words she had said.

The next thing he knew, he was pushed, or dragged out from the room by Lei, Mei Zhuo and Ah Si.

Xi Men remained dazed even though he is standing outside the room now.

“Dude, are you alright?” Mei Zhuo asked.

“What… what had just happened?” Xi Men asked, and then turned his head to look at Mei Zhuo.

Lei, Mei Zhuo and Ah Si exchanged gazes.

“I am not sure which part you are referring to,” Lei happened to say.

“Did… did Xiao You just scolded me?” Xi Men asked, dumbfounded.

Again, Lei, Mei Zhuo and Ah Si exchanged glances.

“Yes,” Ah Si responded.

Xi Men remained dazed still, as his eyes looked to the left and right. “Xiao… Xiao You has never scolded me before…”

“Because you started first,” Lei said. “I am not standing at your side this time,”

“So do I,” Mei Zhuo said.

“Me too,” Ah Si said.

Xi Men raised his head up and looked at the closed door where Emily is in.

“You’ve gone overboard with your words, Xi Men,” Lei said.

Words again.

Sigh.

Why does he always get himself into trouble with this?

“You should have found out the truth first,” Lei said. “What you have said is quite hurtful. I think you should apologize,”

“It is hurtful for me as a father too,” Mei Zhuo said.

“I think my wife is going to beat the shit out of you if Xiao You had earlier remained sitting there and do nothing,” Ah Si said.

Xi Men swallowed the lump in his throat. “I… I didn’t mean to yell at her like that. I was just too…” he just exhaled a deep breath. “Why… why did Xiao You say I am the one causing Emily to sick…?”

“According to what we heard just now, it was the fried food you had with her yesterday,” Mei Zhuo said.

“Fried food?” Xi Men is surprised, now, searches deep in his mind as to confirm if he meets up with Emily for meals yesterday, and what they had last night.

Yes, fried food. For dinner.

“You know when kids’ immune system is weak at that point of time, certain food will trigger sickness,” Lei said.

“And it so happened she had throat irritation after that, and then…”

“Fever,” Xi Men said, interrupting Ah Si.

Lei, Mei Zhuo and Ah Si nodded.

“It… it was the food she took with me… yesterday?” Xi Men asked.

“Looks like it,” Mei Zhuo said.

“But Xiao You seems to understand that sometimes, these things happened,” Lei said.

“How do you know?” Xi Men asked.

“She was talking to Emily before you came. We heard it,” Lei said again, and both Mei Zhuo and Ah Si nod in agreement.

“I see…” Xi Men said, and he slowly sits down on the bench right outside of the ward.

“Though… after what you have said earlier towards her… I am not sure right now if she will really blame you about Emily’s fever…” Lei said.

Xi Men gazes at Lei, and then he (Xi Men) sighed.

“To set the record straight, Xiao You didn’t know she is unwell. Emily hides it from her…” Mei Zhuo said.

“Emily hides it from Xiao You?” Xi Men asked.

“Yes,” Lei said.

“Xiao You did not know about Emily’s condition either. She probably knows just minutes ahead of us,” Ah Si said.

“Oh,” Xi Men said. “So I had wrongly accused Xiao You…”

“No doubts about that,” Mei Zhuo said.

Mei Zhuo’s confirmation words make Xi Men felt guiltier than he has already been.

“But… she said something about the ‘epic fail time’. What is that?” Ah Si asked.

Xi Men lowered his head a little bit. “There was once… Emily should sleep over in the mansion for the weekend. She came to the mansion… but she got lost in there. After finding her again, all she wants is her mother. So I have to send her back to the penthouse,”

Lei, Mei Zhuo and Ah Si looked at each other.

“Emily has never asked to go and stay with me at the mansion anymore since that one time,” Xi Men said.

“Sounds… traumatized,” Mei Zhuo said.

“I guess so,” Xi Men said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

He sighed and then squeezed his nasal bridge.

***

“Mommy…” Emily sobbed in Xiao You’s embrace.

Xiao You sniffed as she patted Emily.

“Mommy, I am sorry…”

“It is okay, sweetie,” Xiao You said. “It is okay,”

“If I had told mommy that I don’t feel well… mommy and daddy…”

“Sweetie, it is okay,” Xiao You said, emotionless at the thought of it.

As far as she (Xiao You) knows, Emily probably thought both her parents had disagreements that led to living separately for a moment, but she (Emily) didn’t know her parents had actually gone separate ways.

“Do you want to see and talk to daddy?” Xiao You gently pushed Emily away from the hug and then wiped the tears off of Emily’s face.

Emily nodded briefly.

“Okay, then you will talk to daddy,” Xiao You smiled, planting a kiss on Emily’s forehead.

With that, Xiao Qiao heads to the door and opened it.

The F4 looked at Xiao Qiao standing at the door.

“Emily wants to talk to her father,” Xiao Qiao said, looking at the guys outside of the room.

“Okay, thanks,” Xi Men said, rose to his feet.

Xiao Qiao nodded briefly and then she walked out of the room, followed by Jing and San Chai, thinking Emily wanted some family time.

Taking the few steps, he entered the room and right on time, he saw Xiao You stood up and gave Emily a pat on her head.

Xiao You turned and walked towards him.

Xi Men’s heart skipped a beat as he looked at her approaching him, but her gaze never met him.

She happened to just walked, passing by next to him and go to the door; ignoring his presence.

Xi Men is slightly taken aback with her cold reaction.

“Xiao You,” he guiltily called.

Not only Xiao You pretended he wasn’t there, she even pretended she didn’t hear a thing.

She walked out of the room.

“Xiao You…” he called again.

And she closed the door.

His heart wrenched at how Xiao You had reacted to him.

Perhaps, what he said is really hurtful to her.

“Daddy…”

Xi Men turned and looked at Emily, immediately plastered a smile on his face despite the sadness in him. “Hi sweetie,” he walked towards her.

“Daddy… I am sorry,” Emily pouted and begins to cry again.

“Awww… sweetie, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he sits down next to her and hugged her as she cried.

“I didn’t tell mommy… I didn’t want her to scold me…” she sobbed.

Xi Men swallowed the lump in his throat as he tightened the hug. “I know,”

“I am sorry… please don’t fight with mommy because of me…”

Xi Men could only gently pats Emily’s head.

***

Xiao Qiao, Jing, San Chai, Mei Zhuo, Lei and Ah Si are all surprised when Xiao You left the room and even closed the door when they heard Xi Men calling for her from inside the room.

They thought Xiao You will remain in the room with Emily, and additionally granting Xi Men to enter the room because Emily wanted to talk to her father, although she (Xiao You) had chased him away.

And then the next surprising thing is, they all heard Xi Men calling for her when she heads to the door… and she didn’t acknowledge his calling, and even closed the door as though she didn’t hear a thing.

Did she really resent him until she didn’t want to stay in the same room with him?

Xiao You sits down on the bench in front of the room.

“Xiao You, are you… umm… alright?” Lei happened to ask.

Xiao You lifted her head up and looked at Lei, “Yeah, I am,” she smiled briefly. “Thank you for coming,”

“You’ve said it earlier, Xiao You,” Xiao Qiao said, sitting next to Xiao You.

“I know. But I still need to thank you guys again,” Xiao You said. “You guys can go back if you want to, have dinner with the kids…”

The husbands and wives exchanged glances with each other.

“What about you, Xiao You?” Lei asked.

“Of course I’ll be here,” Xiao You smiled. “Emily will be staying here for the night. So I will be here,”

“Umm… do you want to go out to eat something? Or do you want us to buy dinner for you?” Jing asked.

Xiao You smiled. “I think that would be lovely. Yeah, please get me some food,”

“Okay, sure, what do you want to eat?” Jing asked.

“Anything will be fine, whichever is convenient to you,” Xiao You said.

“Do you want to go home and freshen up or something…?” San Chai asked, glancing at Jin who is sitting at a bench further away. “Jin is still here, and he can fetch you home,”

Xiao You shook. “No, I am okay,” she then turned to look at Jin, “Jin,” she flagged him.

Jin hurriedly heads to Xiao You. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Go home, Jin. I will be here tonight,” Xiao You said.

“Oh…” Jin looked at Xiao You, and then looked at the F3 and wives before returning his gaze to Xiao You again. “Okay, ma’am. Call me if you need me,”

***

After thoroughly planned among themselves, Lei and Jing went out to buy dinner for everyone because all of them didn’t have appetite to go for dinner.

Everyone in the room looked at Xiao You feeding Emily with porridge that Jing had bought for Emily, as requested by Xiao You.

Xi Men sat down on the couch placed against the wall in the ward as he also looked at Xiao You feeding Emily with the porridge, spoonful after spoonful.

Xiao You has not talked to Xi Men even since her outburst towards him earlier on.

She did not show that she resents to be in the same space with him, however, she just pretends she doesn’t see him.

And Xi Men remained in utter guilt, after seeing Xiao You’s reaction towards him.

This is really his fault.

He blindly scolds her and blames her without finding out the truth and also raised his voice at her.

Now, she is not only heartbroken at what he said, but enough to ignite anger that she scolds him back, up to the stage of asking him to leave.

He had never seen her like this before.

He felt really, really terrible.

He returned his gaze to the takeaway box in his hand and resumed eating his fried rice.

Xiao You’s food remained in the box placed on the side table untouched as she feeds Emily.

The friction between Xi Men and Xiao You earlier has caused the solemn and awkward atmosphere in the room that even the friends do not dare to talk to each other.

“Mommy, I am full,”

Finally, something to break the silence.

“Okay, sweetie,” Xiao You said, putting the bowl down on the side table. She then poured a glass of water and gives it to Emily.

Emily diligently drinks the water and then gives the glass back to Xiao You, “Thank you mommy,”

“Alright. You’ll eat the medicine in a while, okay,” Xiao You said.

Emily nodded.

“Emily, how do you feel now?” Xi Men happened to ask, and then packed the empty fried rice box in his hand as he had finished his food.

Putting the glass down, Xiao You reached for her box of fried rice.

“I am feeling better, daddy,” Emily said, turning her head to look at Xiao You. “Mommy can eat her dinner now,”

Hearing it, Xi Men felt guilty immediately.

Or rather, guiltier.

He scolded Xiao You earlier saying she doesn’t prioritize the daughter, but here she is, becoming the last to eat her dinner because she feeds Emily first.

And he had also finished his dinner, with the empty box ready to be discarded.

Xiao You smiled at Emily, “Yes, because you are full now, so I can eat now,”

Xi Men also recalled that in the past when Emily is still a toddler, Xiao You will feed Emily first, and then sneaking in a bite or two on her own in between the feeding times.

Now, he feels guiltier.

No, guiltiest he had ever been.

*****

“Goodnight mommy, goodnight daddy,” Emily said, as Xiao You pulled the blanket and covers Emily.

“Goodnight Emily,” Xiao You and Xi Men, who are standing at opposite sides of Emily’s bed, happened to say at the same time.

Xi Men glances to Xiao You since they are so synchronized with each other, but Xiao You made no attempt to look at him.

“Goodnight uncle Lei, aunty Jing, uncle Mei Zhuo, aunty Xiao Qiao, uncle Ah Si and aunty San Chai…”

“Goodnight Emily,” Lei, Jing, Mei Zhuo, Xiao Qiao, Ah Si and San Chai said together.

Xiao You leaned forward and plants a kiss on Emily’s warm forehead. “You still have fever, sweetie. I hope when you wake up, your fever is gone,”

“I hope so too, mommy,” Emily said, closing her eyes.

Xiao You smiled faintly.

Xi Men then leaned forward and kissed Emily’s forehead too, feeling the heat from Emily’s forehead on his lips.

“Sleep well, sweetie,” Xi Men said, patting her head.

“I will, daddy,” Emily said, struggled to open her eyes, and then closing it back.

Soon, Emily falls asleep.

Xiao You glances at the time on her wristwatch. “You guys should go home,” she said, turning her head around and looked at her friends. “You guys need to go back and see your kids, and rest early for you guys need to go to work tomorrow,”

“Yeah, she is right. Maybe we should make a move,” Ah Si said, looking at San Chai who then nods.

“Thanks for coming,” Xiao You said. “Again,”

“No problem, Xiao You, are you staying here tonight?” San Chai asked, looking at Xiao You.

“Yes, I’ll stay here,” Xiao You said.

“You can go home,” Xi Men said, looking at her.

While remained looking at her friends, “I have decided to stay here,” Xiao You said, her answer directed to Xi Men.

“Then what about you, Xi Men?” Mei Zhuo asked.

“I’ll be here tonight,” Xi Men said.

“Emily has fallen asleep. She will be fine. I can take care of her. Just go home,” Xiao You said again.

Xi Men turned his head to look at Xiao You, and caught Xiao You turning her head to look at Emily at the same time. “Xiao You…”

“Just go home,” Xiao You uttered, taking her seat down on the chair next to the bed, and her gaze went to Emily.

Everyone looked at Xiao You is talking to Xi Men, but she is not looking at him.

“I won’t be able to sleep even if I go home. Let me be here,” Xi Men replied.

“She just needed me,”

“Please,”

Xiao You remained looking at Emily.

Silence.

Xi Men pressed his lips together.

“Then suit yourself,” Xiao You said.

Xi Men could only smiled lightly after Xiao You gave her approval for him to stay.

“Umm… we will get going now… so…”

Xi Men and Xiao You turned to look at their friends.

“Sure,” Xiao You smiled again and rose to her feet.

That’s a huge difference between how she treats her friends and how she treats Xi Men.

“Keep us updated about Emily, alright?” San Chai asked.

“Okay,” Xiao You said.

“Maybe we will come tomorrow morning…” Jing said.

“I think it is okay. Dr. Wu said Emily only has to stay for one night, so I think she can be discharged tomorrow,” Xiao You smiled at Jing. “I’ll let you know, alright?”

“Sure, goodnight, Xiao You,” Jing said, giving Xiao You a hug.

“Goodnight, Jing, thank you again,” she hugs Jing back.

“No problem,” Jing replied.

And the friends bid farewell to both Xi Men and Xiao You one by one.

After the friends left and closed the door, Xiao You takes her seat on the chair again.

She didn’t say a word or even gave a glance to Xi Men.

He sits down on the couch, and could only look at Xiao You, feeling the extreme hostility she is giving to him.

*****

Xi Men snaps out of his sleep out of a blue and he began scanning the place that he is in now.

He realized he is in a room of the hospital now, and for a moment he asked himself why is he there, and then he recalled Emily had been admitted for the night.

He pulled the sleeves of his suit and shirt up to look at the time on his wristwatch.

2am.

His eyes went to his soon-to-be-ex wife.

Xiao You had slept on her chair by the bed, with her head on her hands that are currently crossed and placed on the side of Emily’s bed.

It must have been uncomfortable for her to sleep like that.

And then he realized he is sitting on the couch, which could be a good place for her to lie down and sleep on.

Maybe she would have slept on the couch if it is not for him occupying the corner seat of the 3-seater couch.

If their relationship are still great, he is sure she would go to him and snuggled up to him and sleep on his shoulder, or his chest.

She has done that a lot of times when they were in the hospital awaiting one of their friends’ wife to give birth.

He inadvertently smiled at the thought of it.

She loves to snuggle up to him. She loves to be close to him. She loves that he wrapped his hands around her.

And now…

His gaze went to her again.

It is different now.

Their relationship has broken down.

He ridiculously scolded her earlier to which she shot back at him and even kicked him out of the room.

She doesn’t even want to look at him now.

So how on earth would she come to the couch?

But then again…

He doesn’t need to count the other points.

He just needed one point – the relationship had broken down; it is enough to justify she will not come to the couch.

Taking a deep breath, he then rose to his feet.

He takes off the suit he is wearing.

Xi Men slowly walked towards Xiao You.

He then placed the suit gently on the sleeping Xiao You so that he doesn’t wake her up; and making sure the suit is covering her shoulder and her back, so that she doesn’t get cold.

He took quiet steps back and then leaves the room, hoping if Xiao You happens to wake up and saw the empty couch, she would head over and sleeps instead.


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15 thoughts on “I Still… – Chapter 29

  1. I feel bad for XM here. Because i know in the end he will feel miserable once XY and emily isnt in his life anymore. What will his parents say to him? I think his mom will be disappointed. I know he will see emily once in a while but not as much anymore. I dread he day the divorce will set XM free yet thats the start of his misery and that will be the end of misery for XY. Im not hoping nor asking for them to be together annie. Just end it now, hope XY will be happy soon and no more sadness. Im now officially Raymond/XY fans club president hehe 😊

          • Who doesnt want a happy ending? But if XM wants it too he needs to really make it up big time to XY and Emily. Dont get me wrong annie, its just that the pain XY went to is so deep that a little sorry wont suffice. If really their love will save their marriage? I know XY will always have a 1% love left for XM and 1% is enough for her to take him back again. I just hope he will be worthy to be with XY again. For this story i really want XY to be happy may it be with XM or not.

          • Hmmm means a lot annie. Im actually torn. But its still your decision. Maybe i just want justice or anything for what XY have felt when XM just threw in her face the divorce issue.

  2. Ximen might be a shrewd business man but I can assure that he is so dense when come to love relationship. still cannot feel that he still love Xiao you.. sigh..

    hope next chapter Ximen will realize it…

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