I Still… – Chapter 58

“We’re here, sir,” Patrick said, stopping the car in front of a building.

Xi Men, who had been daydreaming at the backseat of the Mercedes Benz drove by his chauffeur, turned his head to look at Patrick’s eyes from the back mirror. “Huh?”

“We’ve reached, sir,” Patrick said again. “The law firm that you have asked me to drive you to,”

Xi Men then turned his head to look out of the window to finally pay attention to the building next to the car. He then took a deep breath. “Alright,” he unbuckled his seat belt.

Patrick immediately exits from his driver seat and heads to the back passenger door to open the door for Xi Men.

Xi Men then gets out from the car.

“What time should I come and get you, sir?” Patrick asked.

Xi Men’s eyes strayed. “I am not sure…” he murmured. “Lei will be here so I may take his ride…” he lifted his head up and looked at Patrick. “I’ll call you if I need you,”

“Sure, sir,” Patrick said, closing the door after Xi Men took two steps away from the car.

Xi Men took the few steps to climb up the stairs and he straightened his shirt at the same time.

He does not feel like driving today, so he asked Patrick to drive him.

Besides, he didn’t sleep well last night.

So, he is not at the best health to drive as well.

His mind is blank.

He felt he had lost his soul.

As though his body seems to move automatically on its own, he isn’t exactly aware that he had taken the lift, pressed the floor number he needs to go, and exits when the lift reaches the floor. He didn’t know when he had arrived at the entrance of the lawyer firm, and he pushed the door of the lawyer’s office and entered the firm.

“Divorce case for Mr. Xi Men and Miss Yang?”

Soul returns. Reality sets in.

Xi Men lifted his head to look at the receptionist that had just asked him. “Yes,” he replied.

“Please wait at the waiting area, sir,” the receptionist said.

“Sure,” Xi Men said. “Has Miss Yang arrived?”

“Yes, sir. She is sitting at the waiting area,”

“Okay,” Xi Men nodded briefly.

“Oh, sir. We only need to wait for one more witness, right?”

Xi Men looked at the receptionist. “One? I thought two witnesses are needed?”

“Yes, but one has arrived…”

“One? Arrived?” Xi Men frowned and asked.

‘Lei and Jing will come together. Even if they take separate cars, they will wait for each other before they come up,’ Xi Men thought to himself.

“Umm…” the receptionist immediately unsure if she is right…

He didn’t want to think anymore.

“It doesn’t matter. If it is to wait for one more witness then one more it is,” Xi Men said, walking to the waiting area.

He heads into the waiting area, only to meet Xiao You sitting alone there.

What ‘one witness has arrived’?

There is no sight of that ‘one’.

Sensing someone entered the area, Xiao You turned to look to see who it is.

Both of their eyes met.

“Hi,” Xi Men said.

“Hi,” Xiao You smiled briefly but fades immediately.

He then sits down on the separate couch that is placed on Xiao You’s right.

Xiao You clasped her hands together. “You are early,”

“You are earlier,” Xi Men said.

“Probably by a couple of minutes,” Xiao You said.

“I see,” Xi Men said.



Xi Men swallowed the lump in his throat. What should he talk now so that they can get on a conversation…?

“Alright, I am…” and stopped.

Xi Men and Xiao You turned their heads to the ‘voice’ that had just emerged from the lavatory.

Immediately, Xi Men’s eyes are filled with anger and frustration, and fire too.

So this is the ‘witness’ the receptionist claimed?!


“…done,” Raymond continued as he looked at Xi Men already sitting there.

Xiao You just gave him (Raymond) a small smile.

“Hi,” Raymond said at Xi Men.

He didn’t want to greet Raymond, but since Raymond had said so and Xiao You is there… “Hi,” Xi Men replied back, clenching his teeth afterwards.

He just didn’t want to be rude to Raymond in front of Xiao You.

Raymond just smiled briefly and then he walked towards the couch, and obviously, sitting next to Xiao You. “Umm… since Xi Men is here already, are you going in to…?” he asked Xiao You.

“No, not yet. My witnesses haven’t arrived,” Xiao You said, looking at Raymond.

“Oh,” Raymond said.

Hearing she mentioned about witness, “I had informed Lei and Jing to be the witnesses,” Xi Men said.

“I know. You don’t have to repeat that,” Xiao You said.

“I didn’t expect he is going to be the witness…” Xi Men said, giving Raymond a glance.

Xiao You understood the glance Xi Men just did. “Raymond is not my witness. He just decides to come here and accompany me,”


“And you and I have agreed to have Lei and Jing as our witnesses, so they will be the witnesses,” Xiao You said.

Xi Men took a deep breath. “Okay,” he then clasped his hands together.



Jing turned her head to look at Lei who is looking straight to the road.

She then looked at his hand gripping tightly on the steering wheel.

And he sighed again as he drives.

“Lei, you can tell me if it is making you uncomfortable,” Jing said.

Lei slowly turned his head to look at Jing, and then he returned his gaze to the road. “I guess you knew I couldn’t sleep well last night,”

“Yeah, I do,” Jing said. “I could feel you tossing and rolling on the bed,”

“Yeah. I was trying to sleep,” Lei said. “But I really can’t,”

“It is not like I can sleep well too,”

“Really?” Lei asked, glancing over to Jing. “I didn’t know that,”

“It is on and off,” Jing said.

Lei took a deep breath and then nods as a sign of acknowledgement.

Jing tilts her head slightly as she looked at her husband.

And then Lei sighed again.

Jing pressed her lips together and smiled briefly.

After Lei took a deep breath, “I can’t believe this is happening,”

Jing looked at him. “Hmmm?”

“Xi Men and Xiao You are really divorcing,” Lei answered. “I can’t believe it is really happening,”

Jing took a deep breath and then releasing it.

She understands what Lei is feeling.

“Back then I was so convinced this day will never come,” Lei said. “And I am so convinced that Xi Men will rediscover his feelings for her before this day comes. But my heart sank when Xi Men called me to tell me they are signing it today, and that he wanted us to come and be his witnesses. This day really comes…”

“I guess things don’t always go your way,” Jing said.

“This is one of the things I wished it had gone my way,” Lei said.

Jing smiled briefly. “So… I supposed Xi Men really doesn’t love Xiao You anymore,”

Lei remained staring at the road although he heard what Jing said.

It took Lei a while before he answers her, “I always felt he does…”

Jing looked at Lei, “And…?”

Lei took a deep breath. “I mean… I don’t know now,” he said. “I haven’t seen Xi Men and Xiao You for a while now. There may be changes in how Xi Men felt now,”

Jing just nods.

“Furthermore, Rebecca and Raymond have appeared,” Lei said dejectedly. “Even if one doesn’t move on, the other will,”

Jing also sighed.

“There may be a chance that Xi Men doesn’t work out with Rebecca, but I saw how Raymond treats Xiao You,” Lei said.

“I know,”

“Xi Men and Xiao You had shared a really beautiful relationship together. Their relationship was once labeled as the most desirable relationship in Taiwan. It is sad to see how they ended up now,” Lei said. “My hope for their reconciliation has dashed,”

Jing took a deep breath. “I appreciate our relationship, Lei,”

“Hmmm?” Lei turned to briefly look at her.

“Because our relationship is beautiful too,” Jing said.

Lei smiled. “Yes, it is,”

“I love you, Lei,”

Lei turned and looked at Jing, “I love you too, Jing,” he extends his right hand over to Jing’s side and gripped on her hand tight.

Jing smiled.

“I’ll kiss you later, when I stopped driving,”

Jing chuckled upon hearing that.


With Raymond around, it is even more awkward to sit there.

Xi Men couldn’t help but his eyes glanced over to look at Raymond and Xiao You, who are not talking to each other as well.

Raymond caught what Xi Men did.

Raymond silently took a deep breath and smirked. He then turned to look at Xiao You. “Hey,” he extends his hand out and with the back of his palm, he rubbed Xiao You’s arm.

“Hmm?” Xiao You turned to look at Raymond.

Seeing the entire sight, Xi Men felt uneasy and he immediately boils in anger.

“Are you alright?” Raymond asked.

“Yeah. I am. Don’t I look fine to you?” Xiao You asked.

“Nothing, just asking,” Raymond smirked.

Xiao You smirked back at Raymond.

Raymond then turned his head and glances at Xi Men, and smirked as he sees Xi Men’s reaction.

Xi Men glared at Raymond. That is all he could do anyway.

“Hey guys,” Lei said, walking in with Jing. “You guys are so early,”

“Hi Lei, hi Jing,” Xiao You stood up.

“Hello Xiao You,” Jing smiled, hugging Xiao You.

“Hey,” Xi Men said with a flat tone.

Lei looked at Xi Men. “What’s with the tone?”

“Nothing,” Xi Men said. “Why are you late?”

“Late? It’s not even 9.15am yet. How is it that I am late?” Lei asked.

Xi Men then looked at his wristwatch. “Oh,” that is all he said.

Lei then turned to look at Raymond. “Hello,”

“Hi,” Raymond replied.

“Mr. Xi Men, Mr. and Mrs. Hua Ze, and Miss Yang,” a man called.

Everyone turned their heads to look at the man, who is Lawyer Chen, had walked out from his room to greet them after the receptionist had informed him that everyone is here.

“Although it isn’t time yet but since everyone is here, we can proceed,” Lawyer Chen said. “To my room, please,”

“Alright,” Xiao You said, and then she turned to look at Raymond. “You’ll wait for me here, right?”

“Yes,” Raymond smiled.

“Okay,” Xiao You said, and then she straightened her head, immediately meeting Xi Men in the eyes.

Seeing Xi Men’s gaze,

“Anything?” Xiao You asked Xi Men.

“Nothing,” Xi Men said, and then gives Raymond a glance, before he looks away.

Raymond knew. He sits down on the couch again.

And all of them entered Lawyer Chen’s office.

And Raymond took a deep breath.


Lawyer Chen pushes two documents forward; one to Xi Men and one to Xiao You.

“Mr. Xi Men, Miss Yang, this is your official divorce papers,” Lawyer Chen said. “Everything is written in this document. All rules, terms, conditions, and alimonies,”

Xi Men and Xiao You looked at the document in front of them.

“As agreed, everything that Miss Yang had and enjoyed as Mrs. Xi Men will be continued. Nothing will change, including cars, gifts and services provided by the maids and butler. Miss Yang will continue staying in the penthouse that you are staying now,” Lawyer Chen said. “Both of you will have joint custody for your daughter, Emily Xi Men Yang Hui-Qi,”

“I’ve heard them before,” Xiao You said. “Are they written in the document, Lawyer Chen?”

“Yes,” Lawyer Chen said.

“Okay. Then you don’t have to repeat. I can read them myself,” Xiao You said.

Xi Men then looked over to Xiao You, “He is just doing his job,”

“I know. Not because I don’t let him do his job, I just don’t want to hear them again,” she said, and then gritted her teeth beneath the closed lips, and then she flips the page.

After watches her, Xi Men then lowered his head as he looked at the document in his hand.

Lei and Jing looked at each other.

It is silence in the room and only papers flipping sounds are heard.

Both of them paid great attention on the content of the documents.

As soon as Xiao You reached the last page, she slowly puts down the document on the desk.

She sniffed as she lifted her head up to look at Lawyer Chen.

Everyone heard her sniffed.

Jing immediately extends her hand out to grip Xiao You’s hand.

Xiao You smiled faintly and nodded briefly at Jing. “I am fine,”

Xi Men puts down the document on the desk after he is done reading.

“So… Mr. Xi Men, Miss Yang… is the document alright?” Lawyer Chen asked.

“Yes,” Xiao You replied.

Xi Men only nodded.

Lawyer Chen then extends a pen to each of them. “If everything is okay, then you can sign,”

Tears formed in Xiao You’s eyes and she swallowed the quickly-formed lump in her throat as she took the pen up.

Xi Men also took the pen from Lawyer Chen.

Lei and Jing looked at both Xi Men and Xiao You.

Xiao You lowered her head as she looked at the document, with the pen in her hand.

Her hand pressed on the document.


There is a line above her name. That is where she needs to sign.

She slowly turned her head and looked at Xi Men, who is also pressing the document with his left hand and holding a pen with his right hand.

Xi Men stared at the document, just staring at it.

She saw the look on his face.

There is no turning back.

Things have come to this. Their relationship had ended.

It’s just that they are still legally bounded, and this document will terminate it.

“Seven years of marriage,” Xiao You was heard saying suddenly in the silent space.

Lei, Jing and Lawyer Chen turned to look at her.

Xi Men only lifted his eyes up upon hearing it, looking at nothing in particular.

Xiao You sniffed. “It all ends here…” she said.

With painful determination and hurting strength that she had no idea where it comes from, she plants her signature down.

Xi Men turned his head slightly to her direction upon hearing the scribbled of the pen on the paper in the obviously quiet room.

He knew she had signed the paper.

He lowered his head down and effortlessly as well as emotionlessly plants his signature on the document in his hand.

Xiao You finally lifted her head up and looked at Xi Men after she saw him signed the divorce papers, undoubtedly with tears in her eyes.

Lawyer Chen extends his hands to grab the documents on the table and exchanged them between Xi Men and Xiao You.

Xi Men could only lower his head to look at the document that Lawyer Chen has just exchanged with.

He gazed at Xiao You’s signature on the document that is placed in front of him.

And suddenly, from the corner of his eyes, he saw Xiao You leaned forward to the table; and that causes him to turn his head to finally look at her after he tried not to do so the entire time.

And he looked at her biting her lips and immediately plants her signature on the document.

She had signed the divorce papers.

He could only stare at her, no words uttered.

Xiao You then lifted her head up and looked at Lawyer Chen. “So, this is all, right?” she asked, lifting the document up.

“Umm… I need to check…” Lawyer Chen said.

Xiao You extends the document to Lawyer Chen, biting her lips hard and tried to contain her tears.


Lawyer Chen looked at the signatures on the document: Xi Men’s and Xiao You’s.

“Yes…” Lawyer Chen said.

“And that is my copy, right?” Xiao You asked, standing up; and eventually pushed the chair to the back with her body.

Sniff again.

“Yes…” Lawyer Chen said, extending the document to Xiao You.

“Okay,” Xiao You said, grabbing the document harshly from Lawyer Chen and turned around, heading straight to the door.

Just right she turned around and takes a step forward, tears fell down to her cheeks and she tried so hard not to cry over there, so she dashes to the door and leaves the room.

She didn’t even look or glances at Xi Men.

She had no intention to look at him.

“Xiao You!” Jing called, before she then turned her head to glance over at Lei after Xiao You had vanished from her sight.

Lei looked at Jing, as both husband and wife looked at each other at how fast Xiao You had reacted and leaves the room.

Xi Men, instead, could only stare at the empty seat that Xiao You had just sat.

“I’ll go and see how Xiao You is,” Jing said.

“Okay,” Lei nodded.

Jing nodded and she heads out of the room, trying to find Xiao You.

Xi Men took a deep breath as he slowly straightened his head and looked at the divorce papers in front of him.

Lei noted Xi Men’s expressionless face.

Xi Men slowly takes up the pen.

“Xi Men…” Lei said.

Xi Men pressed his lips together, and he lands his pen down…



The door flung open.

Raymond immediately lifted his head up from looking at the magazine in his hand, to look at Xiao You dashing out from the lawyer’s room.

As soon as she comes out and meets Raymond in the eyes, she immediately turned and detoured to the lavatory.


Everything happened so fast that Raymond had no time to even complete his sentence to call her. It didn’t even have enough time to register in his mind about what is going on.

He could only blink as he witnessed Xiao You heading towards the lavatory from the office in just mere seconds.

And soon, Jing comes out from the room, looking left and right.

She then looked at Raymond. “Raymond, do you have any idea where Xiao You is?”

“Lavatory,” Raymond responded.

“Okay, thanks,” Jing said, immediately turned to head over.

“Is everything okay?” Raymond asked.

“I… I am not sure either,” Jing said worryingly. “I need to see Xiao You to make sure she is okay,”

“Sure, please do,” Raymond said.

Jing heads to the direction of the washroom, and could hear Xiao You sobbing from where she (Jing) stood, behind the door.

She felt so sad to hear those uncontrollable and sad sobs from Xiao You.

Somehow, she felt there is a need to let Xiao You alone…

She ends up standing there for a while, and when she turned, she looked at Raymond looking at her.

Jing inadvertently raised her hand and placed a finger on her lips to request Raymond not to speak, if he wants to ask ‘why is she standing outside of the washroom’.

Raymond nodded as he understands.

Unsure for how long she had stood there… she heard a door opened; but not the washroom’s door, and then saw Lawyer Chen walked and sits at the waiting area, at one of the couches near Raymond.

Jing guesses that it must have been a while… so she feels it is time to go in and see Xiao You.

She turned around and slowly pushes the door of the washroom open, and she finds Xiao You weeping in front of the mirror, by the wash basin.

“Xiao You…” Jing said.

Xiao You immediately quiets down upon hearing it.

“It is okay… it’s just me…” Jing said, approaching her and pats Xiao You’s back. She suddenly feels bad that Xiao You had stopped crying because she (Jing) had entered the washroom.

Xiao You sniffed.

“I know it is hard for you…” Jing said. “I know you still love him,”

Xiao You smiled forcefully. “I hope he is happy now…”

“Xiao You…”

“Yes, I love him still… but I want him to be happy,” Xiao You raised her head up. “This is what he wanted,”

Jing could feel Xiao You’s pain. She didn’t know what to say… but she knows what she can do.

Jing slowly turned Xiao You around to face her (Jing), and she hugs Xiao You.

With a small smile on Jing’s face, “Cry, Xiao You… you’ll feel better,” she wrapped her hands around Xiao You.

“It’s okay, Jing…” Xiao You gently pulled herself from Jing’s hug. “I think I have cried enough…” she lowered her head.

“Are you sure…?” Jing asked, looking at Xiao You.

Xiao You smirked. “I should,”

“Don’t force yourself…”

“I need to move on,” Xiao You said.

“I know, but you shouldn’t force yourself,”

Xiao You then smiled forcefully at Jing, “I have to start somewhere,”

“You don’t have to do it now… not when you are grieving… not when you are not ready,”’

Xiao You lowered her head as she bites her lips, and then swallowed a lump in her throat. “I know…”

“I know you will move on someday, Xiao You,” Jing said. “You are a very tough woman. I know. I believe you will. But trust me, you need to take your time. Slowly,”

Xiao You then lifted up her head and looked at Jing.

Jing gave her a comforting smile. “Don’t pressure yourself. Don’t put yourself thru these things alone. Xiao Qiao, San Chai and I will be here supporting you. If you need us, find us,”

Xiao You smiled and nodded. “Thank you…”

“You are welcome,” Jing smiled.

Xiao You lowered her head as she bites her lips, feeling touched by Jing’s offer and support, and at the same time, still feeling sad about her divorce with Xi Men; her tears had formed again in her eyes.

Jing rubs Xiao You’s arm, “Now you need me. So… cry,” she smiled as she hugs Xiao You again.

This time, Xiao You hugs back and really cried her heart out.

Jing pats her back and hears her sobs.

About a few minutes later,

Jing notices Xiao You’s cries has soften up, and Xiao You has also slowly loosen the hug.

Taking that as a hint, Jing releases Xiao You from the hug too.

“I’ve got to go,” Xiao You smiled at Jing.

“Go? So soon?” Jing is surprised.

“There is nothing else to do here anymore,” Xiao You smiled as she turned her body slightly to take the divorce papers that she had placed on top of a dry basin. “Take care, Jing,”

“Take care too… Xiao You,” Jing said, looking at Xiao You heading out of the washroom.


Raymond has his attention at the washroom since Jing enters, and now to see Xiao You leaves the washroom, he looked at her.

“Let’s go, Raymond,” Xiao You said, walking to him.


“Yeah,” Xiao You said, and casually grabbed his arm and basically dragged Raymond away from the waiting area and then the lawyer firm.

“Are you alright?” Raymond asked.

Xiao You swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “Yes. Even if I am not, I will be alright,”

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21 thoughts on “I Still… – Chapter 58

  1. Hooooomaaaaayyyygooooossshhhh!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 i need to breathe…. 😵😵😵
    Ok i was so not expecting this!!! Like this soon.. Arrghh! All along i thought xm still has a couple of hours to amend the impending divorce… Haaaaiiissst… 😑😑😑
    And as the event slowly unfolds, i had the urge to stop reading further coz i have this bad feeling about what will happen.. Then bam! I feel like a jello right now… Affected much! 😧😑😵🙍🙍
    Oh, xm still hasn’t planted his signature.. There’s still hope!!!! 🙏🙏🙏Waaaaa…. Xm fighting ya ya yah!!! 💪💪💪🙌🙌🙌

  2. coward.. Ximen is really a coward, you have the guts to tell Xiao you to divorce and you dun love her anymore.. why now u dun dare to tell her that u still love her very much and fight for her love and trust again.. If you dun even dare to admit it, then u dun deserve happiness and her love..

    did ximen sign the paper? hmm… what will ximen tell Lei talk in the room?

    by the way, witnesses have not sign on the divorce paper, I declared divorce not in force… haha. . 😅😅

  3. hmmmm…they did sign the document………omg,,,,,,,,,,this is so sad…..feel like crying…why why!!!!!! ximen ..you are the stupidest man on the earth..

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