Warm water gushes out from the shower head in the bathroom, straight onto Xi Men’s head and body.
As beads and trails of water traveled down his bare shoulder, he runs both his hands over his wet hair, pushing them to the back.
He raised his head up and closed his eyes, letting the water flows onto his face.
He stood there for a brief 30 seconds letting the water from the shower head flows straight to his head.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he then straightened his head.
He opened his eyes, facing straight to the tiled wall.
He took a deep breath and then exhaled it.
And another deep breath and exhaled it.
And another deep breath.
Now he feels guilty.
He feels extremely guilty.
He took a deep breath again and then he lowered his head down, letting the warm water flows onto the back of head.
He swallowed yet another lump in his throat.
He extends his right hand forward and placed it on the tiled wall in front of him as he slowly transfers the weight of his upper body to his hand that is pressing against the wall.
His mouth is ajar right now and he exhales his deep breath thru his mouth.
He closed his eyes as his guilt eats him up and he felt as though something is gripping his heart that it aches.
As his head is down, the warm water from the shower head flows to the back of his head and then traveled down to his face, creating water trails from his temples, jaw and nose.
He took multiple deep breaths again but he didn’t feel good at all.
He felt so bad.
With his eyes remained closed, “Oh my gosh… what have I done…?”
And the entire situation played in his mind…
*Flashback to 40 minutes ago.
After locking their eyes at each other and switching his gazes between her beautiful eyes and irresistible lips, Xi Men ends up leaning forward and kissed Xiao You on her lips.
His urge had driven him to do just that.
And the worse thing is, he kissed her hungrily; not the slow and passionate type.
He does not know what happened and why, he only knows he wants to kiss her.
At that point, that is what he wanted and he did just that.
But the strange thing is, Xiao You did not do anything to stop him.
When he kissed her hungrily, she responded; she kissed him back.
As he is standing and she is sitting at the desk, his hands held both side of her waist, pulling her up, making her stand on her feet and he remained kissing her.
It didn’t take him too long as he carried her into his arms and heads to the bedroom and then lays her down on the comfortable king bed.
One thing leads to another.
Removing each other’s clothes.
And he took her.
…asking her if she wants it.
After everything had ended, he finally realized what had happened.
His eyes widened and stunned, totally in shock of and with himself.
He seems to have zoned-out during the entire situation.
He looked at the nude Xiao You sitting up from the bed and wordlessly heads to her luggage.
Fear grew in him.
His heart beats rapidly.
His breathing became quick.
He didn’t know what to do now.
He didn’t know what to say.
He then saw Xiao You takes a small bag out from her luggage, and from the small bag, she searches for something.
She takes out a strip of pills, breaking the foil paper and then popped the tablets into her mouth and then takes a few gulps of water from the water bottle.
“Xiao You… what… what is that?” he asked.
“Emergency contraceptive pills,” she replied.
Lust got the best of him.
Not only his lust blinds him to sleep with Xiao You, but his lust has made him proceed without protection.
He wouldn’t sleep with anyone without protection. But…
Xiao You had broken his record.
She is the first woman he sleeps with without protection.
Xi Men raised his head again and lets the warm water from the shower head flows onto his forehead in the bathroom.
If only the water could wash off his stress…
And best if the water could wash off the entire situation, making it that the entire incident has never happened before.
That will never ever happen. Definitely.
He still blames himself about what went wrong that would make his lust controlled him instead.
But there are a lot of questionable actions.
Why didn’t Xiao You pushed him away when he kissed her?
Why did Xiao You let him proceed?
Why did Xiao You let this happen?
He had been standing under the shower head with the flowing water for 15 minutes now.
The bathroom is his perfect refuge corner now.
Xiao You is just right outside of that bathroom door, somewhere in the suite.
But he couldn’t remain in the bathroom forever, right?
But… but how can he face her now after what he had done? After what he had disrespectfully did?
He felt so helpless and terribly guilty over his actions.
“Oh my gosh…” he puts both his hands on his head. “I’ve ruined our friendship…”
He is devastatingly disappointed with himself.
Xi Men stood right behind the bathroom door, staring at the door knob.
He actually wants to leave the bathroom, but he is more afraid to face Xiao You.
His gaze remained fixed on the door knob.
To leave or not?
To leave or not?
But he can’t stay in the bathroom forever!
He has to face her no matter what!
It is just a sooner or later thing!
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he lowered his head down due to the immense guilt in him.
After taking multiple deep breaths, with his eyes remained closed, he gripped onto the door knob and opened the door.
He slowly opened his eyes to look at the bedroom.
Xiao You is not there.
He took a step out of the bathroom, his eyes turned to scan…
“That’s a long shower you had there,”
Xi Men froze upon hearing Xiao You’s voice from the living room.
“Umm… yeah,” he replied from where he stood.
A lump has formed in his throat and he painfully swallowed it down.
He needs to face her.
No matter what.
He had put himself in an awkward position with Xiao You.
He needs to settle this.
After taking a deep breath, he walked to the living room, and Xiao You is sitting at the desk looking at the papers in her hand… and wearing a bathrobe.
Why is she still wearing a bathrobe now? She had already showered right before Xi Men takes his shower.
It is so long ago and why is she still wearing a bathrobe now?
“I have outlined about the places to go tomorrow. We will start with Saint Chapelle as I have told you today, and then we can go to Invalides…”
“Xiao You,” Xi Men called, interrupting her.
She stopped, and then lifted her head up and looked at him, wearing a tee and shorts. “Yeah?”
He stares at her.
She didn’t look affected at all despite what had happened between them.
Seeing Xiao You is staring at him like this, he sort of developed an immediate mental breakdown and didn’t know how to face her.
He walked past her and heads to the entrance, wanting to get out from the suite but also remembers that there is nowhere to go, making him ends up standing there.
Xiao You’s eyes followed him, looking at him staring at the entrance. “Xi Men, what are you doing?” she asked.
Xi Men turned his head to look at Xiao You, before he immediately turned his head away.
He doesn’t dare to look at her right now.
He is petrified.
He felt guilty.
“Xiao You, I am sorry!” he blurted out.
She looked at him.
“Xiao You, I shouldn’t have done that to you! I am sorry! I didn’t know what I’ve done! I didn’t know why I would do that to you! You are my friend! I can’t and I am not supposed to do that to you!” he frantically said.
“About?” Xiao You asked.
What does she mean by ‘about’?
“You mean the intercourse?” Xiao You asked.
That word she uttered is like a forbidden word. Hearing that word makes Xi Men felt worse.
“Oh my gosh… I feel so damn bad right now. Xiao You, I am really sorry. I… I…” he stuttered.
She tilts her head as she looked at him.
He felt stuck.
He can’t stay around in the suite but he had nowhere to go as well …
He heads to the couch and crashed his butt down on it, covering his face with his hands.
“Xiao You… I can’t face you anymore… I am so sorry…” he uttered. “I ruined everything… we were going on well on this trip… and I…”
There are no words to accurately describe how sorry he is and how guilty he feels right now.
How he wish he could undo all of these.
He appreciates what they had shared in this trip although it is just the 3rd day today.
He had ruined their friendship.
What is he supposed to do now?
How is he supposed to face her for the next few days?
Should he really contemplate cutting the trip short now for sure?
Xiao You stood up from her seat, and she walked towards Xi Men.
“I am so sorry…”
Hearing the ‘hey’ at such a close proximity, he removed his hands from his face and immediately sees Xiao You standing in front of him. He didn’t know she had walked over to him.
She places both her hands on each side of his shoulder, and gently pushes him back, making him leaning his back against the couch.
He doesn’t understand what she is doing. “Xiao…”
Xiao You parks her right knee onto the couch just next to his thigh. Using the couch as a support for her to put her hands, she eventually climbed over and sits on his lap.
Xi Men’s eyes widened.
What the f*ck is she doing?
She is right now just in front of him! Right at his face!
She is making everything worse for him that she is only clad in her bathrobe where he can see her cleavage positioned at the level of his eyes when he looked straight, and the knot of the bathrobe is located on her lower stomach.
And then the slit is up to her thigh because of her legs, on each side of him!
He looked at the deep V of the bathrobe, making him imagining things he was trying hard not to imagine.
He quickly lifted his head up to look at Xiao You’s face instead, “Xiao…”
She puts both her hands on his shoulder and pushed him back, making sure he remains leaning against the couch.
Now it provides a wider angle for Xi Men to look at her since she pushes him back. It is good that the angle allows him to look at her face comfortably, but it also provides a better view of her skin.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked at her.
He basically gasps for air because he is nervous. What is Xiao You going to do to him? She is sitting on his lap, pressing him down and in a way, she is taking control of him.
He can’t run away.
He can’t look straight.
He can’t look down.
“Xi Men,” she called.
He looked at her face, continues taking controlled deep breaths.
“Don’t worry about the intercourse,” she said.
“I…” he wanted to utter apology again, but she interrupts him.
“The intercourse is just an intercourse,”
“What… what do you mean?” he doesn’t understand.
“Didn’t you say you go out to pubs and randomly picked a professional lady to sleep with?” she asked.
His eyes widened. “Yes, I do. But that doesn’t include you,”
“Why? I am not professional enough or not womanly enough?” she asked.
“No, no, that is not what I meant!”
He puts his hands on her waist to hold her because he wanted to move her to make space for him to stand up and leave, as well as not wanting to make her fall onto the floor but she ends up pushing his shoulder to the back again, against the couch.
He is totally defeated in her hands.
Why is he feeling so weak now?
“Because you know me personally? Because I am your friend?” she asked.
He looked at her, and then he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yes,”
He is getting tired mentally for having to control his eyes to look at her face and could not look anywhere else. It is so tempting to look down but… he can’t.
He shouldn’t do that.
“So, you are saying you don’t sleep with your friends?” she asked.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, and then he shook violently. “I don’t,”
She then nodded understandably, “Right… I have never heard you have a female friend,”
“Ah?” he looked at her, wondering what it means.
“Because you sleep with all of them so they are not your friends. And even if you have female friends, they are your brothers’ wives,” she casually said.
Xi Men remained looking at her, and then he swallowed the lump in his throat.
He had never given that a thought. She is right. He had just discovered he didn’t have even one female friend.
“Xiao You… I am really sorry. I really don’t mean it to happen this way… I got too carried away…” he said; his eyes traveled down because he didn’t dare to look at her in her eyes, but… well, he ends up looking at her cleavage.
Knowing he is seeing her cleavage and it is not right to look at it, he lowered his gaze down again, only to look at the knot of the bathrobe, with a sudden temptation to unknot it…
NO! You can’t bloody have that thought!
NOT ON HER!
Lowering his eyes down again and he meets with the smooth skin of her thigh, which is bared because of the slit from the bathrobe.
He immediately closed his eyes.
Yes, that is the only thing he can do.
“Didn’t you mention before that this is a part of the ‘one week’ policy?” she asked.
His eyes opened widely upon hearing that, and he lifted his head up to look at her, “I… I did say that but at that time, you also said it doesn’t mean IT must happen! And… and I didn’t expect it to happen like this!”
“Two months ago when we talked about this trip, you sounded as though it is something that must happen, until I told you that it is not necessarily had to happen,” she said. “So, why are you contradicting yourself now, Xi Men?”
He took multiple controlled deep breaths and then swallowed the lump in his throat as she isn’t budging at all, remained sitting on his lap.
Somehow because of his guilt towards Xiao You, he had a desire to stay away from her as a mean of respect, but… here she is, sitting him down and doesn’t let him move.
He looked at her.
She looked at him.
He doesn’t remember the Xiao You he knows is like this.
The Xiao You he knows is shy and protective about herself…
How come she seems so casual about this?
He immediately remembers the few questions he asked himself earlier.
Why didn’t she push him away when he kissed her, and instead, she kisses him back?
Why didn’t she stop him and lets him takes her?
There is really no sign of her trying to stop him.
There is also no detection of her being unhappy with what he did.
Even the questions she posed…
He gets a weird feeling right now.
“Xiao You…” he called, as he looked at her still sitting on his lap and she stares back at him. “Just now, when I kissed you or touch you or even… bed you, you didn’t stop me at all,” he said.
She looked at him as he speaks.
“Did… did you want this to happen?” he asked.